Wayne Rooney commissions architect to create garden shed

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has reportedly commissioned the services of award winning architects Pulmann Associates, asking them to design plans for a grand new ‘mega-shed’. Critics have begged the question, shed or more comfortable dog house?

The multi millionaire is demolishing his current shed and replacing it with a building three times the size. The building is so big, in fact, that it requires planning consent to become reality.

According to the planning submission, it will be built with the usual garden shed materials: weatherboard walls and bitumen covered roof, but contains no windows. A good thing, one might suppose, bearing in mind the danger flying footballs pose to fragile glass.

The plans, however, are not passing through the red tape process smoothly.

Opposition has been raised concerning anxiety over the potential spread of chemicals and garden variety toxins should the site flood. With a dangerously babbling brook at the end of the garden, this has been deemed, by some, to be a distinct possibility.

Comprehensive plans have been created and submitted by the architects and we wait, with baited breath, for the results.

Meanwhile, across town a drunken couple in rented accommodation ripped their home apart in search of a phantom rat. A fireplace was pulled out, lino ripped open and floorboards lifted in search of the slippery rodent. No such creature was found, however, and both partners have now been prosecuted after admitting criminal damage.

Some might comment on the variety of life in Manchester and the complete excess or complete lunacy of some situations.  Others may question which is which?

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